The donor-cycle diaries, pt. 2, (follicles, damn follicles and statistics).

The Long Road to Baby:
A must for people making choices about 'what's next'

What a week it's been! Last week was National Fertility Week, World Fertility Day and The Fertility Show. So, understandably, a LOT of news coverage as well as some brilliant articles like this one from Katy Lindemann about why infertility feels like failure.

And, I discovered the most excellent series of BBC Radio 4 podcasts from Sophie Sulehria; The Long Road to Baby, shares her journey post-IVF as she explores 'what's next' with her husband. Honestly, these had me blubbing on the Underground. I WISH I'd heard her episode on Donor Conception a year ago - she articulated the struggle so beautifully, everything rang true.

And, of course, last week was notable for some pretty crappy reasons too. First there was the news that many local authorities are denying NHS IVF treatment for the over 34s. And then ADOPTION-GATE A.K.A. some badly misrepresented statistics that appeared to suggest that the rise in IVF is responsible for a decline in adoption rates.

Since the story broke, the infertility community has been fervently sharing their opinions; "adoption takes too long"... "I was advised to try IVF before adopting"... "fertile people are just as responsible for adoption as infertile people".

I can fully appreciate all of these views AND I can also see the logic of infertilie people adopting. BUT, and it's a big but, the assumption that childless people should bypass fertility treatment in favour of adoption forgets one massive factor - biology; aren't we hardwired to want to reproduce ourselves?

Pre-IVF, all I wanted was the chance to fulfil my own biological calling. And, after 6 failed cycles, I felt that my genetics had failed me. Yet, Husb's sperm are fighting fit. Surely he has the right to be a genetic parent even if I can't? This is something we wrangled with for over a year as we considered our next steps. If the tables were turned, would I be happy to give up my chance to be a genetic parent? No, I don't think I would. And, for this reason, I don't expect Husb to either.

Furthermore, I believe passionately in the freedom to choose. What might be right for us may be the wrong route entirely for others. So, please, let's not bash people who already feel vulnerable. Instead, let's think about how to make fertility treatment and adoption as clear as possible so that when people like me are making life-changing choices, we do it with all the facts and every possible means of support.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel (maybe because all the real experts were at The Fertility Show), a news editor from ITN contacted me for an interview on Saturday. Sadly I was unable to participate this time but, had I been able to, that's what I would have said.

And, amongst all this, it's week two of our syncronised donor IVF cycle. So here's a quick update on that...

The dreaded vag-probe

Our amazing donor is mid-way through her stimulation phase. Meanwhile... last Friday, I went for a routine vag-probe to see how my lining was coming along - and to make sure I hadn't accidentally ovulated. The lovely sonographer seemed concerned (which is hard to take when there's a big fat probe up your froo-froo). The cause of concern was this; there had been a 12mm follicle on my left ovary, which now wasn't there. There were two possible explanations to this: either I had ovulated, or the follicle had regressed. The first option was BAD. If I'd ovulated, then we would have to abort the sync'd cycle - meaning donor would carry on as is but any embryos would be frozen and transferred to me at a later date. If, however, my follicle had simply regressed, this would be OK - business as usual. The only way to tell was through a blood test to check my progesterone levels. Lovely Nurse Mary did the honours while all I could do was WAIT. Great, my favourite thing. NOT.

Thankfully, I had a busy day at work on Friday so, at 6.30pm when the phone finally rang, I wasn't too angsty, all things considered. "GOOD NEWS" said Nurse Mary. "YOU HAVEN'T OVULATED". Music to my ears, meaning I could carry on as normal.

And, EVEN BETTER, donor is cooking up some follicles of her own and should be on track for egg collection this week. This was music to Husb's ears - as he's getting pretty fed up with healthy living whilst trying (and failing) to stay stress free - especially when I'm at maximum MOANAL hormonal level.

Anyway, for me, it's now MORE WAITING. Hopefully I will have some news later this week - thank you for staying with me!